A constitutional comedy of non-departure
The Resignation Simulator
He says he is stepping down. The public says he is simply walking around the chair. Your job is to process the resignation with dignity, legality, and complete disbelief.
Simulation chamber
Process the exit
Every button is sincere, regrettable, and somehow still attached to the machinery of power.
Official bulletin
The presidency announces a mature and democratic withdrawal, pending several small clarifications, patriotic exceptions, and seating logistics.
Choose a maneuver
Try to complete a genuine resignation. The simulator, sadly, has been calibrated by experience.
Awaiting maneuver
No constitutional improvisation yet.
Begin pressing buttons to discover whether the exit remains ceremonial, delayed, rebranded, or entirely fictional.
President
Currently preparing a solemn departure with suspicious ergonomic flexibility.
Power retention72%
Public credibility26%
Institutional chaos48%
Operating notes
Absurd rules
The game is won only if power truly departs. This condition has not yet been observed in the lab.
- Any resignation may be revised by patriotism, timing, mood, destiny, or an available side door.
- Any title may be surrendered if a more useful title is immediately discovered under the carpet.
- Every reassurance lowers credibility, but this never prevents another reassurance.
- Every emergency strengthens the case for a temporary extension lasting however long history requires.
- The phrase “private life” is recognized by the system as foreign input.