The US President must be having a ball dragging sheltered Canadians into his carnival act.
I say he is trying too hard. For the next leg, I want him to grab Justin Trudeau's schnoz, and then declare, "I got your nose!"
Watch with hilarity as Trudeau touches his nose to make sure it is still there. Watch the Toronto Star write several articles and columns, over-explaining why Trump lied about getting Trudeau's nose, and how that is not physically possible unless he has some machete, samurai sword or really sharp scissors of some kind -- and that would be physical assault.
Then watch Twitter light up with offended people declaring Trump is a nose-ist, body-shaming and picking on Trudeau's nose.
Please, amuse me. Trump can then grab Chrystia Freeland's nose, too, and then we can have offended women whining how that was A Very Bad Thing to grab a woman's nose.
And then Trump can go on Twitter, declaring victory in having two Canadian noses and that he won't give them back as we then notice the two increasingly touching their noses to reassure themselves that Trump really didn't take their noses.
We are one step away from Canadians becoming the world's laughing stock. Trump made a snarky remark about how Canadians are smuggling US goods across the border, which is absolutely true because it has been going on for as long as I can remember. Even before cheap reality shows showing what Canadians were always trying to bring back home without paying duty, they were hiding how much cheese they were bringing -- I have seen border guards dismantle cars to find a truckload of cheap booze and bed linens.
This is so not news, but now Canadians are having a fit over the remarks, and the virtue-signalling is out of control, with all sorts of nerds going on how this isn't true and people validating this remark as they are being serious.
That is the tactic of morons who really are that gullible.
In boxing, two opponents will trash talk each other before a bout. A good boxer never takes it seriously because the point of pre-match trash talk is to unnerve the opponent and hope to undo his strong man image and replace it with a whiny little boy reality.
If you don't want to sound like a nerd, do not screech like a baby when someone says they got your nose. They don't have your nose. It is a ruse, and if that word is too hard for you, let me say it in basic language:
The mean man is making fun of you. He does not really have your nose. He knows he does not have your nose.
He just wants to make you look in the mirror to check if he has your nose before you feel silly that you thought he really had your nose.
So Canada, listen up when Alexandra Kitty tells you not to look at your noses when the man in the big white house tells you that he has everyone's noses. It is just a silly story for silly children to believe to make the rest of the world laugh on cue when you get all upset and touch your faces because he said that he has your nose...