Memo to the Hollywood's Establishment Actresses: You are not owed sunny reviews for bottom-feeder dreck.

People do not applaud you for making a photocopy from a photocopy as you make millions of dollars from it?

Gee, how sad.

The movie Ocean's Eight is cheap and disposable entertainment. It is not feminism. It is an Establishment studio making an Establishment movie using an Establishment cast using a re-hashed patriarchal script with no surprises. Pretty ladies in pretty clothes sashaying in a highly processed and choreographed manner.

It is as bottom-feeder as you can get.

So The Guardian's silly article about how the female cast is whining (yes, whining) that reviewers were not all that impressed with by-the-numbers stuff that comes from a re-used storyline is just indulging spoiled Hollywood babies who should grow a pair of ovaries, not think that there should be more female reviewers who would give them a free pass.

Please, spare me. When you are raking in millions of dollars and been doing so for years, do not pretend you are part of some resistance: you are Establishment. You arrived. Be grateful. No one owes you a good review.

As an author, reviews are something I am very familiar with, and I take no stock of them because people have every right not to like your work -- or just as frustrating, like it for the wrong reasons. It is not up to you.

When my first book came out, I had someone give me an atrocious review on Amazon that I asked to be removed for the simple reasons that (a) the person admitted he never read it in his review, and (b) he thought a book called Don't Believe It!: How lies become news was a book about music producers.

I kid you not.

When OutFoxed came out, I asked Amazon to remove one positive review because the person was praising the book -- but said there were things in it that were not. It would have deceived people into getting a book that did not include what the reviewer claimed it did.

After that, I no longer bothered with policing reviews. People have every right to love or hate your work.

Most reviews are opinion-pieces, not actual reviews with no commentary -- it should tell you genre, content, style, structure, unifying theme, and whether this is something that is based on established conventions, or deviates from it.

It is not easy to write a helpful review. I have written them, but it is not a genre that appeals to me.

But if you are looking for applause or a reviewer understanding the amount of work you put in it, forget it. You are in the wrong profession.

I had a recent amateur review of my latest book that wasn't all that -- and the criticism was peculiar, to put it politely. Here is a book that took years to research, months to write, and laid out countless examples of journalistic rot...and the reviewer dismisses it all because, despite the overwhelming verified real examples written from a veteran in the profession, it couldn't possibly be "that bad."

What do you mean? Do you think those examples I crammed in one book weren't real? Do you think I could possibly put every single case of journalistic incompetence in a single book?

Meaning, no, it is far worse than what I can absolutely physically chronicle in a single book.

And it was a woman who reviewed it.

She has every right not to like my book. She doesn't like the thesis, obviously, because it goes against the Middle Class narrative that self-described authorities and established institutions could not possibly be dysfunctional. Those They must know what they are doing and the little people can go on worrying about the next episode of Game of Thrones instead of wondering whether there is crucial information being suppressed, distorted, and mishandled.

It is the same when a doctor gives a patient the diagnosis that he is terminally ill and there is no recourse. The person can see the test results, but may not want to believe he is really that bad. That means that all of his enemies and people he wishes to make jealous will outlive him. 

And he will be in denial, hoping his narrative will be the one where he bucked all of the odds and survived.

Not if you got to it too late.

Journalism got to it too late. I will have an uphill battle for the simple reason that such a serious message coming from a woman gets dismissed.

But that is the reality of the situation. I am not going to kvetch and to wallow, demanding different reviewers because that is not who my psychographic happens to be.

People who do not look to reviews and think for themselves gravitate toward my work.

You have to be emotionally and intellectually ready to even consider the possibility that something once so powerful and titanic is dead.

And that is not everyone, nor will it ever be everyone.

That's fine by me.

The Ocean's Eight cast is behaving like crybabies: stop gnashing your teeth because not every reviewer gave you a lollipop.

That's life -- and to openly demand rigs that distort in your favour is absolutely heinous.

Get over yourself.

The crowd called Planet Earth is a tough, tough crowd. You either have the mettle to deal with the scathing reviews -- because no one owes you a pat on the head -- or you don't.

And if you don't, find yourself another profession.

Just deal with the reality that no one is obliged to love your work, and for the record, I am a radical feminist, and I find the idea of women being so devoid of talent and originality that they must stoop to starring in old mediocre movies nauseating -- and believe me, you wouldn't want me to review your movie, either...